As I think about leaving Mummy just now, why did Imake a point in checking to see the lace of my pantaloons sat right,checking the bow of my sash, the...sissy steps I took even the way I holdmy arms without nanny telling me? Everything seems to reaffirm the fact,this is all I am, one Sissy! Sitting on the table waiting Lobelias arrival one bowl of oatmeal stuffplus my glass of milk. Without a word of protest I went to sit happilyknowing nanny will put that diaper around me before I get started,. She was using him like she used me and I'd thought she was a friend but no, I was just someone she could sponge off of. I'd get my own back somehow.Then she introduces him to my family; MY family and all the ladies allow him to kiss them, even the twins. I wasn't going to even shake hands with that repulsive creature. Fortunately I didn't have to sit near him at the dinner table, but it almost made me sick the way everyone talked to him as though he was a normal person and how well they. " I know, but that wasn't what I was asking," she said with a caringlook on her face. I understood immediately."I'm um...I'm doing good," I replied. "It's taking some getting used tomentally, but physically I'm not that much different than before."Mom laughed. "Oh, Megan, you are nowhere near the same as you werebefore! You're a girl now. That means everything has changed." Not really, Mom!" I replied with a bit of exasperation. "Sure thingsare different down there, but nothing really changed.. She doesn't realize the depth of your relationship. Relationships are physical and practical. The only man she ever felt as intimate with at the level you feel with your girlfriend but without the sex of course, only because it's taboo, is you. Not having you here in the city but up in some mysterious rural place with dreams of farming and with a big tough girl who works with her hands and wears flannel shirts and blue jeans and army boots makes her lonely and afraid and failed." I'll go talk.
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