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. You deserve to chuckle at the very least once.Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that m...an that one out of five enjoys it?Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not. “This is complicated stuff, huh?”“Yeah,” Shelly sighed. “I always thought if you liked someone, you just liked them. I can see what you mean, though. You can like different people in different ways at the same time.”“Exactly,” Jeff said. “I remember my first girlfriend. I thought she was so perfect. I had all these crazy fantasies about how we’d get married someday. I think we were eight or something.” Jeff laughed at his own naivety. “A week later she was hanging all over this other guy on the. As cliché as it may seem, he even had a pocket protector hanging from his slightly rumbled green plaid shirt. Thankfully though his hair was not slick or combed across his head to hide a balding spot. Its soft brown curls more resembled the disarray of a young Albert Einstein. He definitely was NOT my type. But I always prided myself on being polite, as well as remembering how I had just lectured my teenage daughter on how unfair it was for her and her friends to judge others solely on looks.. The guy took one step and then landed flat on his ass. The bouncer grabbed his collar and pulled him down. The next thing that happened was him getting dragged out by two bouncers. “That was close. He was a real creep. Take me home, my white knight. This princess needs to properly thank you.”“What are you talking about?” “I saw you talking to the bouncer. I knew you’d take care of me and protect me.”“You know me so well,” I said as I flipped the remote on. Ally jumped and slapped me on.
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