"So what's the surprise?" I asked him. It was wonderful dating Ethan. I didn't have to pretend to be all 'cool' for him because I knew that he loved m... just the same way as I loved him. I loved the way he made me feel. When I was with him, I felt beautiful. I used to have self esteem issues a lot in the past. At nearly 18 now, a lot of them I had gotten over, but I will always be a little bit insecure. He has helped me overcome a lot of my insecurities. Like when I went to senior prom last. The practice started as part of my self-esteem training, a way to prove to myself that others’ opinions of me didn’t matter. Now, I use it as a social tactic to subversively establish dominance by demonstrating that I don’t give a fuck.She feared this question. Her age was her least favorite topic of conversation, and she would have rather I asked about her most traumatic life experience, assuming that experience was not someone else asking her age. I sensed this, and perhaps that’s why I asked. We’d said very little during the nine-hour drive. Both of us had remained lost in thought, deeply unsure about what to say next. We rented a room in a pricey boutique hotel in downtown Portland. Given the untethered state of things, the place seemed way over the top. The trip wasn’t supposed to end this way, I sighed to myself.After unpacking her small overnight bag, Kate announced that she wasn’t hungry, and was going to turn in early.Welcoming some time alone, I nodded, changed, and went out. The door will be open for you.”Beth set everything charging, and went to town for groceries, also picking up Chinese food and more wine. At 5:30 she took a shower, slipped on her bikini, and gave herself a spray of perfume. A little after six Kim arrived and walked up to Beth, giving her a full kiss, holding it for several seconds before pulling away. She was in a bikini also, not the one she wore to the party but an absolutely smashing little number, it was shiny and almost the same color of.
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