We exchanged pleasantries and had idle chitchat for a while nothing too exciting. We were just getting into hot and heavy cybersex when I heard a cras... outside my house. I raced to the window to see what had happened, a car had slammed into the telephone pole on the corner right next to my house knocking out power for the whole block. I looked inside the car to see if the person driving was okay, but there was no one in it The window was smashed and the door was wide open so the car must have. Sandy had entered no more than half a dozen names under any letter which meant only a couple pages had been used. So following the inscribed names would be several blank pages before another letter's list began.I found names, first names only, in what should have been blank pages. Entries like Earl, Joe, Chris and so on. In only a couple cases were last names listed at all. They all had a ten digit number, sometimes more than one. I assumed they were phone numbers. A few had street addresses. I. Dad visited often but it didn't help much that he was always crying or drinking. My brother and I found solace in each other. We tried to act as if we were a normal family even when dad wasn't around so as not to let on to anyone that we were lovers. It worked for the outside world but it was truly hard on us. Jealousy was a bitch. And that bitch had me and my brother whipped in every sense of the word.Every time I brought a male home or Ryan brought a female home we kept to ourselves. But when. Girl meets girl, girl confesses love, girl gets girl. It's how it should be, and it is – but in the most fucked up way possible. I've got her, but it's in the middle of the night, and only for a moment. A moment she's ashamed of.And is it better that something's happened? That she hasn't come out and said, 'No, I'm straight. You disgust me, and I hate you.' Would that be better? Would it hurt less?Maybe. Because then I wouldn't know how good it felt to be so close to what I want. To have her..
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