Twenty something years of personal history is very hard to throw away over night. There is no magic to wearing girl's clothes, or to sex, or to hormon...s. Heck, ask any scientist, hormones may amplify emotions but they do not create them or control them. With time you do adapt to the change, but adaptation does not mean you love it. You keep your old mind but have to act like someone else to survive. It makes the oppression of day to day life much worse. I step off the bus onto my driveway and. My dad was out of town and following dinner I went up to my room to work on a paper that was due. I was sitting on my bed thinking of Mary being fucked by her new guy, Gail being fucked by Tom, Natasha's mom being fucked by her hubby and yes, even Natasha being fucked by Eddie and I was feeling sorry for myself.I undressed for bed and grabbing the ever present pair of my mom's dirty underpants I started to beat my meat. The image I had in my mind was that of Tom and I double teaming my mom. She. He decided to drink water, since, he had to cook. We chopped veggies and talked about roses until Nan arrived back from getting set to go. Then, she was gone.I asked Lou if he wanted to listen to more music as we cooked dinner. He said he did. I put on some jazz, Glenn Miller, I believe. When I returned to the kitchen, Lou was swaying to the music. He asked if I'd like to dance. I accepted without hesitation. I have always liked the way older men hold you while slow dancing. It's like. The true dark ages for me where before you could make good coffee in minutes.If I am ever permitted to go home, I bet I would be the toast of the town for showing them this remarkable brew. Assuming they would be willing to try something brown in color from the monkey world. There loss if not I suppose.It was in that moment, when I could feel it. Feel death’s wings in the air. In fairness I could always feel that, but something was unique about this one. Old age, sickness, or injury, they are.
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