Both the trophies of victory and the stigmata of defeat ... to know damage when she saw it. These are scars I might forever bear. But does it matter? ...nly if I can escape. And I can’t see how I will.Surrender suffused her every thought, increasing the intensity of her weeping. Where is my will to fight? To deny, even if it’s ultimately futile, the degradations being visited upon my body? Where is my desire for freedom? Was the death I sought so intensely pursued that I’ve forgotten how to yearn. As if that were not enough of a taboo, he was a black man. Truth be told, I was responsible for his interest in me. I had been flirting with him for months, I must have driven that poor man out of his mind (I would do things like sit in the front row with a short skirt on and no panties). So one day (probably after he got tired of his constant blue balls) he asked me if I wanted to stop teasing him and just let him fuck me. I KNEW that I wanted that, but was also scared to death. Naturally, my. He was desperate to hang around withthe hardest lads in the Fifth Year, even if it meant being treated as avirtual slave. Maybe he imagined that some of their toughness wouldeventually rub off on him.Oscar directed us to hand in our work tomorrow morning at break. At thispoint most teachers would have taken a register so that no one couldclaim he was absent when the punishment was meted out. Not him; he'dcounted twenty-six of us and that was how many sets of lines he wouldreceive.The dinner. “I feel like I want to kiss somebody!”She was truly in the afterglow from a successful battle as well, from having faced death and won, and said, “Yes, let us do that!” She flowed into my arms and we embraced. Her lips were wet, sweet, and inviting. Our mouths melded and our hands caressed each others body for what seemed like hours. Apparently successful combat made her as horny as it made me, and it was only through sheer force of effort that we avoided ripping each others clothes off right.
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