She knew death would start work on him shortly. To her, a good-looking man when alive is considered handsome. A good-looking man when dead is beautifu.... She knew that his beauty was now limited before it would be torn apart in a furnace or by worms...The young man had an entire temporary landscape that demanded exploration, a landscape that would soon be deforested and destroyed by impending erosion. She stroked his face and the small patches of stubble that signified early manhood. Unbuttoning. Why didnt I crush the bastard? Why? What happened? Was there something at play in the sick underground world? Did my normal world skills not work down there? This had cost me four lost days at work because of my aching ass and my beaten face. It was costing me nights of sleep because I couldnt figure out why I was such a worthless piece of shit. Because none of this experience had been fun. Degradation, abuse, victimization. Weakness and submission. Remember, I keep telling myself, I asked. I watch you as you frown down at me, I think you are debating whether to lecture me or spank me. I don’t want either, my head hurts and you are annoying me now. You sit down and drum your fingers on the table top. That’s different. I look down at my yoghurt and tentively pick up my spoon and start to eat. The coolness soothes my throat but it hits my stomach like lead.“I’m sorry,” I mumble through mouthfuls. It never surprises me how one minute I can be a total brat and the next a repentant. "There was some mumbling in the crowd, but I sat quiet. "And there were several who really demonstrated an excellent work ethic," resumed Mr. Andrews as the room quieted down. "Now, I still believe you are all excellent workers and these are tough times. Some of you have families and these extra hours have been extra tough on you, so don't worry no one is getting fired. But after several reviews of personnel files and reports from supervisors from not only your departments, but others as well,.
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