I am so grateful!”And I was. Through my friendship with Chaaya, culminating in our lovemaking, I had rediscovered my manhood. For years, I realized,...I had been searching for my motherly acceptance and love through relationships with selfish, indifferent and often cruel copies of her. If I could make one of these women love me I believed, I could finally love myself. I would be complete. Chaaya, through her caring and compassion, taught me what a futile quest I was on and what a real and. "I want your affair, our affair, to be glorious, delirious, passionate,all of the things I would want it to be if I were the woman. Andyou'll tell me everything, and do everything my heart tells you to do.I know that once you're in the right state of mind you can be made todo anything. I've heard all about that. Estrella's told me about you,my love. That's why I know you'll do this. It'll be marvelous. Andin your own twisted way I'm sure you'll love it." And that's how you'll make it up. The plan was a fun night at a casino, watching shows and doing a little gambling. At the end of the night she would surprise them with this little gift. Each women had to stay in the room whether they have sex with the guy in the room is up to them, but the key is that they have the whole night to do what they please with us. Being the one with the most experience, I was given the same key as the bride. Around 1:30 I told the guys to head to their rooms for their first job. All three were. Also those words can come back to haunt you because feelings do change. We wouldn't be holding this conversation if yours hadn't.Being ga-ga about you grossly understates how truly attractive, appealing, and desirable I have found you since that night at -- restaurant where we have come together, at least in time and geography, for the second time in my life. And why shouldn't I find you this beautiful? You are.This is a good thing. Everybody, whether they know it or not, need at least two.
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