I want toprove to myself that it is possible to love a child, even if they aren'texactly what you wanted them to be. It is possible to feel unconditio...allove for a child. In fact, it is what every parent should feel.Most of my evenings, when I come back home from work, I spend my timefeeling lonely and depressed. Maybe I have to admit to myself that,although I struggle with being honest about my own emotions, I know thatI am not happy. I always feel too grateful for what Mary once did for meto. " You're absolutely right, Cam," John said. "But it also begs the question: how quickly can we make this happen?" I don't know that. A year I would guess. Part of my reason to go to China is to find the answers to those questions." Have you budgeted for this trip?" Wray asked, knowing full well I hadn't."No," I admitted. "but I don't think an investment of a few thousand dollars is too much to find out if this is a solution to our concerns."John was nodding again. I was sure now he was onside. He told me of a friend who had a friend. I was rolling my eyes at that part. Then he said this friend of the friend was named Frank. He had a barn out in the country where once a month he held 'parties.' I asked about the parties, but Mark would only say, "If you go you will come."That sounded good to me. In two days it was the once a month Friday night. Mark drove to the barn using direction written down on a piece of paper. I looked at him with a bit of disgust as he tried to figure. With the single deviation that my lighter hair and eyes provided, I would be mistaken for a native. I had been accustomed to perusing the horizon through my spy glass, and saw a sight I had not thought to see, mounted men, riding arch necked crop mane horses, the lowering sun glinting on their brilliant cuirasses. If you wish to scout with any hope or prayer of going without notice, better that you wear brown leather, than polished metal. I consulted with two of my party, the russet dog content.
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