“How can I help you today?” the doctor inquired. I explained my concern for catching a flu virus and that I thought it prudent to get my annual p...ysical as well. She asked me a few pertinent questions and went through the usual preliminary steps, checking my pulse, using her stethoscope, etc. Then she surprised me with a question. “Generally we have a third person in the exam room when the patient and doctor are of different genders, but Irene, here, is the only nurse available,” she. You watch her for a moment, and then turn, and leave the room.Later, you are talking with the man whose voice you heard over theintercom."Strange case," you say."Yes. We think she produces a pheromone that makes her almostirresistible to anyone who comes too close. And the effect isnt just onmen, either. We tried having females look after her, but they fell underher spell almost as quickly as the men did. Finally, we had to installthe shock plate to protect her." Interesting," you say."And. N: Mom! I don?t understand.M: Bear with me. You were about 5 years old, you were out riding yourbike with your careless father who somehow encouraged you to ridedownhill and jump over some big obstacle. I wasn't there and I don'treally remember the details. The important thing is that you had a bigfall. You landed on your crotch, with your whole body weight, slammingstraight into the bicycle?s top tube. When I saw you, you wereunconscious in the emergency room.N: I remember something... being. .. How many thin mints do you have to eat before they start working?My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”I thought to myself, “That’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks... You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m.
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