The registrationwas done in silence and she was given a key and simply pointed in the directionof the room that was outside to the left. Since all the...rooms where to theleft outside the reception, the pointing was stating the obvious. She drovethe car the short distance to outside the room, parking it immediately in frontof the door and went in. The room was sparse, a bed, a chair and a small TVon a shelf. To her relief it was however clean and on inspection the sheetsfelt fresh as if just they. She didn’t make it a project, didn’t set goals and tactics. It was more like the gravitational pull from an unseen star. Clothes, wine, cuisine, all upgraded subtly and slowly.But more than the measurable progress, Vanessa altered our perception of others, our awareness of the previously overlooked. The poor, the unhappy, the needy.Looking back, I believe it took someone like Vanessa, with her outsider’s perspective, to open our eyes. Yes, she had been born in the US, but she always had her. We didn’t talk much, nor did we kiss. We sat in my living room in a comfortable silence, neither wanting to break the feeling. When I began to feel drowsy, I asked him if he wanted to stay, hoping that he wouldn’t. To stay would mean sleeping in my bed and I didn’t want to ‘sleep with him’. When he answered asking for a blanket, that he would stay on my sofa, I made no objections. I left him with a blanket and a pillow, leant him a toothbrush and left him. After I had cleaned my face, brushed. His hard eyesnarrowed, and suddenly I saw myself in the mirror, slipping a bra overmy shoulders, bringing the cups down and under soft breasts beforeclasping the straps together in the back. Just as I watched my motherput on her bra, years ago. Just as I did when I first raided her bradrawer, at the age of fourteen. I'd fantasized I had breasts then. NowI saw myself with real pert, beautiful breasts in a pretty lacy blackbra."How do they feel, Melissa? Do they make you feel like a woman? I.
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