" No longer just a thought; a screamed exhalation filling the air, invading my ears, caressing my trembling, twitching flesh. I wish for variety, to f...nd other words; slut and whore, slag and cunt and cow and; but they won't come. I grab at my breasts, fingernails digging deep, try to pluck the words from my being, twisting, gouging, scraping, skin trapped beneath my nails, glorious red furrows brilliant on my flesh. "Bitch. Bitch. Bitch." Railway tracks dragged across my heaving stomach,. The old woman pushing me helped me up from mywheelchair and helped me out of the medical gown. I simply slipped offthe slippers and I was guided to the tub. It was warm alright and at thatmoment it felt good. The other three women had followed and all of themwere holding something in there hands.The first one simply stood there holding towels folded over her arms. Thesecond one approached the tub with bath salts and began to drop them intothe warm water along with rose petals. The third. She had to rethink her words, for both their sakes.“Roy? I want you! I need you, deep inside me, dammit! I need to have you, pleasure you, give you my entire cunt to fill up with your . . . love juice! Please? Love me? Even if it’s just this once?”.Chrissy had never thought of sex in those terms in her whole 19 years before! Yet here she was, on death’s doorstep pleading and begging a man that she’d only just met to allow her to pleasure him! She also knew, as if by hidden instinct, that his. It was hopeless. I felt like shit. Like failure. Dad wouldn't have approved, I'm sure of that.Just a fuckup. That's what it felt like and that's what it was. So, no, I didn't cry, but I felt like it. I solved it the way I'd solved so many similar things over the years: I cut it out of my life. I told myself it was because I was bored with it, that I hated darkroom work, that I was only doing it because Dad did it and my brother the jerk did it, and I didn't really want to do it, anyway.That.
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