So I had no other way out then to get out of that hell hole and restart my life somewhere else.’ she was now in tears, but continued, ‘ The reason...I built that image of that loving father was because, the real one had hurt me so deep that I made up that prince charming and fell in love with him, although he was nothing but a figment of my imagination, but when everyone around despise you, an imaginary friend seems a very valuable option.’ Those words were said among many tears and sometimes. "I could leave right now and in ten minutes one of these guys would be buying you a drink and in half-an-hour you could be upstairs fucking a complete stranger. Just doesn't work that way for a guy." "It would for the guy fucking me," I said. Jason grinned, "Let's do an empirical test of my hypothesis..." I interrupted. "Ohh, look at you using all those big words you learned in college." Jason continued as if I hadn't interrupted. "I'm going to leave and I bet you'll be upstairs within thirty. I was born with this” I said as I dropped my skirt, horrified that she would scream, or worse yet, tell me that she hated me and ask me to leave. Instead, I was shocked when Sandy said “I knew the minute you walked into the bar, dear.” I had suspected from some of the things you had written. The little hints, the cues, like you wanted to tell me, but that you didn’t have the courage to do so.” Sandy continued: “While you are forgiven, you did deceive me, and for that you must be punished.” My. She was such a vivacious person, engaging others even if they were happy in their solitude. If she could look down — and I had to believe she was — I knew she would be mad at me for the blackness overwhelming me, emanating from me.I SEE PEOPLE TURN THEIR HEADS AND QUICKLY LOOK AWAYLIKE A NEW BORN BABY IT JUST HAPPENS EV'RY DAYAs I walked to my place people would turn to me, prepared to offer condolences, a touch, a smile, a reassurance, some contact with me. But the blackness was upon me and.
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