" It's okay," I told her. "I guess I'm just not used to that."And I wasn't. I also didn't want to get used to feeling like I had in the parking lot--f...ll of fear and an overwhelming self-consciousness; and if anything, it had planted some serious fear about what would happen if I did decide to come out to my friends back home. But I pushed the thought out of my mind and focused on relaxing, even if that was hard to do with music so loud that you couldn't even hear the lyrics, just a whole bunch. Ganga asked me:” beta what do you want. Do you want something to eat”. i told:” no nothing ganga bai. i had just come to talk with you”. since she was close to me i asked her directly how she is feeling without her husband. she told that:” its very sad thing that i lost my husband but i am happy without him”. she told not to ask any other personal thing about her life. but i was knowing it since i heard her talking in front of my mother.after so many days of control on me i thought that i am. I guess I couldn't blame them. Sure, I always told them to piss off whenever they suggested it. I wasn't about to waste my time like all the ditzy bimbos who liked to enter that sort of stuff. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little flattered.So I made them offer: if they could raise enough money to pay for my college expenses for the next year, I'd wear whatever skimpy outfit they wanted me to. And enter in whatever stupid 'wrestling' tournament they wanted.To their credit, the idiots. Her mom found her hanging in the family shop, from a rope. Her mom and I decided that we couldn't just leaver her hanging there, so we took her down, that is a cold that I will never forget. After calling police, and them getting a hold of the county coroner, the did determine that it was self inflicted, the next day, we started making the arrangements for her, picking her a rose colored coffin, and finding out that we could have her buried on the family property as long as we designated a.
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