It was raining. It was a sudden summer storm."Oh, man!" she bemoaned.Somewhere deep in my conscious Sting likely was singing, "Don't Stand So Close To...Me", but it wasn't strong enough to hear. All I could think about was how it was wrong to let her get all wet walking home."Do you want a ride?" I asked."Sure!" she said excitedly."Nice car!" she said when she got in."Thanks," I said perfunctorily. I don't think I could ever get over the fact I owned a Datsun. I'd buy another car if I wasn't. There was no way we could afford this.I felt pressure inside my head. My ears were hot. I looked down to find my fists tightly clenched. Every muscle in my body was tight with rage. I tried to control my breathing.Calm down... breath in... slowly... breath out... in... out... Okay... I could deal with this... "Sweetheart." Melanie said with a pout, "I'm bored, can we go out to dinner tonight?"So much for the breathing."WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I could feel my eyes bulging as I screamed. What I was wishing was that I had a girl like Bea again. I had been thinking that I hadn't appreciated what I had with Bea before, when she was still living with us, and before I fell in love with Brenda. With Bea, it wasn't all complicated. I didn't need to think about her all the time, and she didn't try to make me do a lot of things I didn't want to either. Gerta still hadn't found anyone to help her with my mother. On Sunday, while I was waiting for Hans and my mother to get back from a. Ironically I found out just a few years ago that I am not the second born but the third, I should have had an older brother, something that I have always felt in my heart, was that was who I needed to make me more boyish, or would I always have been who I now know that I am? Or should I have been born a woman?So how do I feel about men, firstly I have not had enough experience with them to build a full picture, I am certain that I will always be attracted to women I do not see men as a.
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