She was casually dressed. There was an awkward moment. To kill the awkwardness, I kissed her.We walked to her car and I said that I’d recalled there...being steps leading up to her building’s door.“Nope,” Amy said, shaking her head. “That was someone else’s apartment.”I laughed even though I wasn’t sure how to take this comment. The movie we saw was Everybody Wants Some. Halfway through the movie, I put my hand on her leg and she put her hand over mine. I stroked her hand with my thumb. My. They sat together and across from me at the large table. They made no effort to hide the fact that a warm relationship had blossomed. Lisa had cast several cautious looks at me and I had smiled at her. Brian seemed completely at ease with the situation and joined the ongoing banter with a smooth grace. I maintained a dispassionate front but inwardly I was furiously churning at what I perceived as a gross abuse of my hospitality.The company had long over-extended their welcome before finally. That look in your eyes, one of bashful innocence. Like a woman showing up to her first day at a new job, trying to fit in or maybe just trying not to be a target.God, you were gorgeous.I knew there was more. I knew what was hidden behind that cute facade of purity. It’s the same look I see staring back at me in the mirror. A mask for pain, and the shamefulness of foolishly falling in love more times than anyone has fallen for me. A hiding place for the empty feeling of laying in an open field,. I was in a cold sweat, and despite itbeing still before breakfast; I took my Scotch straight up.I couldn't think straight; I was in such a panic. There obviouslywasn't much more that a doctor could do for me now, than when I'd lastseen him for my feet, but to do nothing seemed an even worse option.That morning was spent in front of a full-length mirror as I inspectedmyself from every conceivable angle. Sure enough my legs had lost agood half of their original mass, though they did seem more.
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