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Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?A. So the Irish would never rule the world!Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?A: The Holy Sp...rit!Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?A: “A beer please, and one for the road.”Q: You know what’s fun about being sober?A: Nothing.Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila?A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?A: Tequila MockingbirdQ: What has eight arms. ”I did.“And where would the child be at this moment?”“I assume she is with her nanny.”“You assume? You mean you don’t know?”“Excuse me a moment,” I said.I tried the land line but ... lo and behold ... it had no dial tone. The representative gloated.Guess what? My cellphone was out of service.The knock at the door came as quite a shock.I opened the door expecting an Australian Federal Police (AFP) Specialist Response Group (SRG) complete with Canine Assistance to be on my front porch ... but it. “I plan on necking with my new husband!” She broke out into raucous laughter, along with the rest of the bridal party waving them off. It seemed as if each of them had smuggled a bottle of champagne to the wedding and had opened them all during the photo session afterwards.The driver fixed his face into a semi-smile at this. If anybody tossed their cookies in the back, there was a hefty surcharge for cleaning, but that simply meant he would be the one cleaning it up. He settled into his seat. Will always be here for you."She took her hands out and walked into the kitchen. For the next 5 minutes, I watched my Mother prepare dinner in her highschool cheerleading outfit. And by the timeeverything was ready and on the table, it sure as hell wasn't the food that had given me a hard on. "Well," I said, lifting my wine glass up, "I wanted you to feel pampered, and you wanted to feel like a 16 year old Mother. So here's to you, my love. I hope, only if this is what you hope also, that you.
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