. Bobby... is... he says Bobby is... I... oh god..." Her hands fell into her lap as she stared sightlessly in front of her. Raul reached down and prie... the cell phone from her hand.He hit the replay button for the current message in the queue. A detached but slightly somber voice began speaking, identifying himself as the night duty sergeant of the Columbia Police Department.He expressed his regret at having to share this kind of news in this way, but he had to inform them that her son, Robert. I did something a little unusual with my wives, not exactly illegal but not far from it. I wrote in all their marriage books that my former name was Ilias. Abby knew me by that name before her supposed transformation into eternal virginity, so we would have some cover there. But it would be an absolute disaster for anyone to hear Shephatiah or Chanah call me Ilias. My undamaged wives have told me in our secret sign language that they have spent hours drilling the thought that my name is now. " No, No, No. --- I guess I'd better have you come to my apartment tonight."When I got there, Shirley was dressed in a bikini with lots of sequins and incredibly high heels. She put on a CD with some highly suggestive lyrics. "Sit," she said. I plopped down in the chair at the kitchen table and took a handful of dollar bills she gave me. "OK. You're the guy! I'll show you some stuff but you'll have to learn the pole yourself." She hopped up on the table and started dancing erotically in front. Ellen's mom seized my arm in near panic. "Bobby? Can you do me a major favor? One of the horsemen couldn't make it. I'm in an awful fix! Would you wear one of the pantomime horses for me?"For those who haven't taped all of Benny Hill's reruns, a pantomime horse is a hollow fiberglass shell, about the size of a extra large rocking horse, that you wear around your waist. There are leggings to make your legs resemble the horse's, while molded boots and legs represent the rider's. Suspenders extend.
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