My husband leant over and wok me with a nudge. My heart is pounding. Today I leave for a week away from him and the kids. The first time ever. I am sc...red, terrified and excited. All these feelings roaming around deep inside of me. I close myself off into my secret world, dreaming of what is to come. My husband touches me and asks if I am ready to go. I ask myself, ‘am I, do I really know what I am doing?’ I know that deep within my heart I am. I have waited for 15 months for this to happen.. Sooner would have been better, but...She took Demie's hand. "Where are we going?"---Today...Wednesday evening rolled around and Demie hadn't come home after going off with her friend Hepzibah the previous night. She did this sometimes. I didn't know what she did or where she went, and was frankly too afraid to ask. If she wanted privacy or had another place to live on the side, that was perfectly fine by me.Or...did she have another lover? Was that jealousy I was feeling just then? It certainly. I mean, the last few nights with Steve helped him catch up to her in my heart, but I really only feel complete when she is around. Honestly, up until now, I haven't really felt anything either way about the rest of you except some camaraderie, and it was really starting bother and worry me. I was afraid I would be forced to sleep with people I wasn't interested in, or even worse, have sex with people who didn't really want me to. What we felt just now when we hugged was a huge relief. It means. I could tell she wasrelived and got her self arranged into the seat as I packed out thingsin the storage area and under our seats. The flight attendants had aglass of Champagne ready for us as we toasted to our time together inPhoenix.The flight filed up and the doors closed as we buckled our seatbelts. Iheld Rachael's hand as she looked out the window and then back at me. Icould tell she was felling nervous about the entire trip and held herhand tight as our plane lifted off for a three hour.
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