It going 4-5 months. Then I liberally talk to her. Asking about her family, schooling etc…Today her son was taken by her mother to her home. Today I...asked her whether she loved anyone before marriage. She told NO.Then I asked how many love letters u received up today. She said NOTHING. But I compelled her to tell. For purpose of compelling I pressed her hands.she -I not received any love letter.Me-I repeatedly asking herShe -how u tel that I received love lettersMe-you looks so beautiful. Every. She stopped and spoke to John and I and then went to put up a few groceries she'd picked up.So I went in and told her what all had been said. She said she didn't mind if he saw the pictures and she knew I'd like to see his very busty sixteen-year-old girlfriend. But I proposed maybe he could take Tony's place. She got this big grin and said that sounded good to her. So we worked out a little plan on how to do this.I went down and told John that she was thinking about it, but that she didn't. When had it gotten like this? It was only a month ago when she'd been that beautiful, innocent little girl who I had grown up with. The girl with blond hair, blue eyes as clear as the sky, and a smile and laugh that warranted a smile and laugh back. Why did we stop watching TV together? Why doesn't she let me pick her up from school any more? Now she comes home, smelling like fucking pot, wearing disgusting black clothing, horrible make-up, and a dirty mouth that stabs me like a knife in the. I still need a lot of practice.The therapist's office is small and there are other folks there as I checkin. Once I'm finished at the desk I find a seat next to a young woman andhold my breath, "Will she see through my presentation?" No one so much asgives me a second glance.My visit with the therapist is uneventful. We talk about how I'm becomingmore relaxed in public and about my monthly Tri-ess meetings. I've told herI'm not gay and not attracted to men. What I haven't told her is that.
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