As we worked putting bundles in the wagon, tears kept flowing down Miranda’s cheeks and I couldn’t tell if they were hers or mine. I’d heard how... when people lost a loved one, they regretted harsh words and unsaid feelings. But that was supposed to be the regrets of the living. I was dead. I didn’t tell my family how much I loved them. Didn’t tell them often enough. Now it was too late.John was a good man and was happy with his new wife. Beulah was already rounding in pregnancy and did her best. How could she not play with him a bit after that?"Well, it's nice to meet you either way."Rachel stood and wrapped herself around his arm. "What brings you over here to the cast-off girlfriend area?" she asked, a bit of a bite in her voice. "Shouldn't you be playing serious, Boys Only poker?"He shrugged. "I had a crap hand. Thought I'd see what you two were laughing about."That answer, Jenni thought, was bullshit. He was checking to see if he was in shit or not."Make up, boys, hair styles,". She turned towards the door then, telling me as she did so, that mymother could explain it better than she could and there was mom. Momwas standing in the doorway and behind her aunt Rose. That shook meright to my very core. This wasn't my fault I said in a voice shakingfrom the experience and terror of them thinking otherwise.Mom spoke first coming in and stopping next to me. She was so afraid ofme hitchhiking she'd said as she so often said. She was beside herselfwith worry every day. You were ready to spread wide open for little Yvette without much prodding from me. Your only real decision is whether you want to cooperate and have me treat you relatively well, or be a pain in the ass and have me turn your life to shit. Now pull yourself together and head back to the hotel. I'll tell you what, I won't make you fuck or suck anyone else today." What do I call you?" Debbie thought miserably, seeing her whole life and Dan's ruined forever, her precious sense of self destroyed as.
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