"Good girl," he said leaning against the kitchen counter. I walked through to the dining room and put my purse down on the table. Right away I found h...m behind me. He grabbed me by my throat and pulled me back into him, talking quietly into my ear. "You didn't think I was going to forget about you teasing me and giving me attitude today, did you?" He asked. "Maybe I did," I replied in a bratty tone. "Excuse me?" He asked. "You heard me." "That's it," he said letting me go abruptly. "Take your. Nihlewas talking about. This wasn't just a "disease," this was my body. Itwas up to me whether I would accept it or not. My decisions would affectmy whole life, change how people treated me, and how I thought aboutmyself.Something I'd been doing a lot of lately, when I wasn't eating orplaying games, was sitting in my room and thinking about all the girls Iwent to school with. They all had different bodies, different styles ofclothing, senses of humor, attitudes, personalities, desires,. By the time the cancer was discovered it had taken more of her than medicine could save. Her last days were a blur to her. To control her pain the medications had to be strong and it took her away from him. When she would surface from the fog she would feel him there beside her, a strong hand stroking her hair or holding one of hers. When the life that remained finally left he was there beside her, right where he had always been for 48 years. In all those years one had never gone anywhere. Now I'm a cow, a big ol' fat cow with teats full of milk.All I want is to die. Why can't someone give me that?That girl, that pretty girl, what does she want?She wants to talk, but I can't talk. Wait, she wants me to blink oncefor yes and twice for no.Okay. I can do that. Can't she cut me free?I'll answer her questions.Yes. The government surely is punishing me, and yes I am truly sorry. Iwill do whatever they want if they will set me back to the way I was.Yes. I know Janine. Pretty little.
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