Author’s note: References to medicines and medical practices are all figments of my wishful thinking.‘She’s leaving now ‘cause I just heard th... slamming of the door’From Ruby by Kenny RogersI am Ralph Cooper, 34, and soon to be ex-married. My soon to be ex-wife is Caren Cooper nee Winslow, 30.I met Caren when I enrolled in college after I was medically discharged out of the army. I had served 6 years in the infantry, had risen to the rank of Staff Sergeant, and was injured when the truck I was. .. !"So I did.Mother's eyes snapped open and her head returned to the upright position, her surprise at my retreat obvious. Was she disappointed as well?My hands trailed slowly southward, across the small soft roll of flesh marked with the lines of childbirth and age. She did not look at me, but at my hands - her nervousness quickly returning.But the hands slide to the sides before reaching her lap, touching her firmly on her upper outer thigh. The black satin slip cool to the touch, the nylon. This, oh belovedprogeny of my Loins, is The Wonderful Magical Wishing Tree. One need butbelieve in the magic of the Wonderful Magic Wishing Tree to have theirFondest Wishes granted!" Really?" piped Timmy and Jimmy in unison. And immediately wished theirwishes to become real girls."So we shall awaken tomorrow as the princesses we always beknew ourselvesto be, riding our menstrual cycles into the Mysteries of Womanhood?"interrogated Donnie."No, I fear that you must be patient. Trees are very old. I couldn't breathe. Barb gripped my hand as I stood up, and said, "Good luck."I didn't want to wrestle Brandy. I most especially didn't want to wrestle first. By the time I got to Jim at the microphone, I could barely walk. Brandy looked as unhappy as I felt. As I got up to her, she gave me a hug."I'd like to introduce the chairs from the two sororities who will be shedding clothing here tonight. From Sigma Mu Alpha, Ms. Brandy Scott; and from Delta Alpha Delta, Ms. Gabby Hunter. Please join me.
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