This time it was relentless. No, I thought, I can't stand it. Please, Tom, take your eyes away. But it was only thoughts, and I was trying to convey t...em by staring back at him with pleading eyes. I knew I had to break the connection myself, and I finally looked down."Yes, but what can we do now?" Well," he smiled, "we could sit here for half an hour." No, Tom, we mustn't do that."My voice was so shaky it was cracking. I took a deep breath to try to get it back to normal."Please, Tom, get back. I've never had sex with someone with such skin. I've only had sex with several white girls and a ... let's forget that for now. I just really need a condom," Jake whined.I huffed a deep breath and got up and walked to my pants and brought out the two condoms I had. I then got back into the position Jake had me in. I swear if I hadn't been so horny I would have left then and there, not even bothering with putting on my clothes. My parents were asleep, and the other two brothers were out of town.. .. I just can't have one of my own. And I want one. I want to be loved as Cassandra by a man more than anything else in the world. I just know that it cannot be. Not as long as I'm a pre-op!And then... again... my thoughts turn to my only friend... the razor and I want to cut again... because I'm so tired of trying to live without love when to love and be loved is what I was made for!!! And the razor loves me... this I know... for my scarred wrists tell me so.We concluded previously, did we. Ray knew though. The next evening when Ray was off work he took me with his wife and k**s to his parents house to all enjoy their pool. I talked a lot with Shelly, his mom, and when I got hard I made no effort to hide it. When her husband was turned away or distracted by Ray and Laura was doing something and Shelly could look, I caught her looking at my hard cock which I leg slide out of the leg of my swim trunks. I looked at her as she stared and whispered, "sorry, this happens around.
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