Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still...more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is. I might get imprisoned. At the very least we would be splashed all over the news.”“Dad, nobody watches the news anymore.”“They would watch this, I can fucking guarantee that.”Ashley sat in her seat, lost in thought as we finished the drive home. The mood had shifted because of me and my concerns. But they were valid concerns and I needed her to know that, to understand the implications. Or… maybe I was just scared of what I’d done, and what I was going to do with her for the rest of the day.. "Of course you are. But you were just a kid last time we met. Look at you now, all grown up and — and beautiful."She blushes, purses her lips and feigns a kiss. "Aren't I just."For a moment neither of us speak. I can feel something stirring below the surface, unholy thoughts agitating my emotions. I have to say something, else go insane."So, Chloe, what are you doing now?"Her reply comes fast, in singsong: "Performing arts, second year at The Royal Northern. Mum wanted me to become a classical. Coat check got them their weapons efficiently and didn’t ask questions about their sorry state. Danica was able to walk on her own by then so Belita shouldered all the weapon belts. By the time they were out to the street both the Norths were breathing properly, but still rubbing their heads. Colin’s legs were still wobbly. They found a nearby bench and sat him down on it.“What th’ hell was that?” Belita snapped, pulling on her gunbelt. “That asshole treats me like a whore, an’ then yer friend.
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