We both said yeah it was great. We three went back out to the party and Jenny stayed slightly back and to my side. I noticed it as part of her submiss...on to me. She must have had a good master before. We stood outside and there were still a few people around a hot tub. To the left we could see a couple through a window on the next floor up fucking furiously with the lights on and curtains wide open. Then I noticed that they liked being watched but liked just being with themselves. A female. I had nothing to say in my defense, so I stood there and took the best she could dish out. I finally asked her why she had asked me over if this was what the whole evening would be like. And Amy said, "I never hated you for not loving me anymore but I hate myself for still loving you." What a gut shot. All I could do in response was tell her the truth from my heart, "I never stopped loving you either. I just lost my focus on what was important in life--and I'm sorry to say this--but I. As we walked back to the office, heels clicking rhythmically on the sidewalk, Amanda said I looked much better and that she couldn't wait to get me in bed tonight! When I thought of how she'd reacted a few nights ago I almost flipped.Eating my sandwich seemed odd; normally I would have devoured each triangular half in three bites but today I took small dainty bites and constantly used the napkin to take the crumbs off my lips. For the rest of the afternoon it was like being two people, the girl. She mused idly that it had been a book that had started it all; what she had gotten into the habit of calling her awakening. She was ashamed and embarrassed to admit it but during all the hype, she had jumped on the band wagon after being lent the now cult novel 50 Shades of Grey, and by her own mother no less! An avid reader, Beth was more likely to be seen snuggling with a Sci-Fi or fantasy novel by someone like Brian Herbert or Brandon Sanderson, rather than a trashy sex novel. She had.
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