) I wrote it about twoyears ago, and going to the commentary makes me realize how much of aprissy fuck I really was.The comments pretty much boiled d...wn to:* I appreciate the points you made about the quality of writing "But your intro really sets you up for failure."It did. My syntax was terrible, the dialog was flat and so on and so-forth (my main character had three different names.)* There was one in particular by a "Vickie" that hit the nail on the head. The nicest part: "You're so. Now, without conscious thought, he found himself turning back to his superior. "What kind of remedy?" he heard himself ask."Take these pictures with you when you go home for supper tonight," Ralph said, pushing the photos and the manila envelope across the desk toward Howard. "And on your way, stop and buy a copy of that newspaper I was telling you about--The Polaroid Club News. I'll tell you where you can pick it up. Then you leave the paper and the photos where Cindy will be sure to find. I turned her on one side and parted her round ass cheeks. There i found her sweet little asshole which smelt good to me. I kissed it. Her smell became more intense. I parted it more and ran my tongue deep inside and licked her thoroughly. She asked, " Do you like it baby?". I smiled and said, "You taste so nice that i can lick you whole day". She said, " Aww. I really enjoyed. Lets sleep now". I said, "Baby, I know we met only to have oral sex. Just for a minute can i rub my cock between ur. Surprisingly, Wilbur's cock never got sore, but his legs and back were aching by the time George got home.He was due back at 4:30 that afternoon, so all three showered to cut the odor of sex as much as they could. They also opened all of the windows and doors and ran several floor fans to try to freshen the air. Bathroom air sprays did not seem appropriate for the job.All three had tried to fit into the same shower stall at the same time, and they found it to be much too crowded for the fun.
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