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"It's August 16," she choked out. "Today is my b-birthday." She paused dramatically. "And I'm... I'm... f... f... forty-nine!" Giant tears rolled down...her cheeks, and her black mascara came off in streaks.It was like my very own Lifetime movie. As she sobbed, her head fell onto my shoulders. I held her lightly and murmured vaguely comforting phrases.Kathie Lee kept it up for several minutes, bawling her way through a litany of her life's woes, from being cheated out of beauty contests to. . we were having so much fun.”“Really?”“Something new to complain about.”“Why?”“Wives complain ... it’s a law.”“Really?”“How else do husbands know they’re idiots if wives don’t complain?”“Yeah,” said Zoe.“The rule,” said Cynthia, “is this ... men marry hoping their wives never change. Wives marry to change their men.”“I must have missed something when we were children.”And Tyche said, “According to mom and Auntie Cyn ... you missed out on lots when you were growing up.”Then she said, “Yup .... For me, this was heaven as I got to be aboy and a girl.Every Halloween would see me wearing a different girl's costume that letme wear a skirt or wear pantyhose to show off my legs and Christmas. ForChristmas, Daddy would dress as Rudolph, Momma as Miss Santa and I woulddress as Santa's Helper, wearing a green or red Tinkerbell style dresswith tights. We were able to get Oscar to help out as another ChristmasElf. As kids, we were in charge of the goodie bags for thosewho saw Santa: Oscar gave. She was aware of her homeliness and accepted the matter-of-course disappointments when young men would choose one of the bikini girls over her. She knew that sex was a worthwhile pleasure. Her mother had never discussed it with her, but one day Glenda discovered her mother's "magic wand". She tried it out, just on the surface and an inch or two inside. She was afraid to insert it completely. The pleasure gave her a physical release and a new subject that helped fill her empty thoughts when she.
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