Meanwhile I taught myself how to be attractive, and I tried to make myself want the boys. I had my sexual experiences under the bleachers of the footb...ll stadium like all of the other perky blonde cheerleaders. Fumbling, awkward experiences. There's nothing at all magical about two teenagers having sex. They're not smart enough about their own bodies to truly enjoy it. And what teens understand about the opposite set of genitalia would fit on the tip of my perky little teenaged nipple. So, I. The return address indicated a P.O. box in another city but she didn't knowanyone there. She opened it with more than a little curiosity. Her curiosity was replaced with puzzlementwhen the wrappings were finally on the floor and she could see the pictureof the box's contents. 'Sybian for sexual gratification', it read. It lookedlike a tiny saddle on half a beer keg with a remote. Judging from the expressionof the model in the picture 'riding the keg', she didn't need to guess atwhat must be. Mom and Dad had the big bedroom downstairs and Amy and I had the two bedroom upstairs. Amy and I wearily dragged ourselves up the flight of stairs, wishing one another a good night before disappearing behind our bedroom doors. As exhausted as my body was my mind was racing frantically. I masturbated which sometimes purged me of that excess energy but I was still pacing round my cluttered room. I pulled out my sketch pad and found a pencil. The white paper in front of me seemed to go. While I lost one family, I had gained another.As the plane touched down, I started thinking about retirement. All of this traveling really drains the soul. I wondered if it wasn't time to turn over control of my company to someone else. Someone younger, who has the drive and energy to keep going. While I'm not as young as I used to be, I'm still in fairly good shape. Maybe it really is time for me to retire, before I get too old to enjoy it.Waiting for me in the baggage claim area was Kevin and.
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