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“Lost track of time.” Said Tom“Well does everyone have their quarters?” Asks Teddy.They all share a look. “Well?” asks Teddy.“I lost min...!” Said Tim and Tom at the same time.Teddy then smiles and pulls out 3 quarters.A Newfie went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like Newfies.The game warden ordered the Newfie to show his hunting license, and the. She asked me what I was doing tonight. I told her I was just going to drop off my girl then come back to the hotel. Before I dropped my girl off I thought I would set something up so that I could get a little piece of ass before the wedding. I had reserved the room with a jacuzzi and I also threw some rose petals on the bed. My girlfriend however screwed up my plan because she was not feeling well. She just wanted to go home and will see me the next day. I dropped her off and went back to the. "I'm about to hurl. I need to get shit-faced drunk. I need to convince myself not to drive into a bridge abutment on the way to work tommorrow." Yeah, I'd been thinking about that. I had good insurance. Double indemnity would twice fill the hole where I'd been in our family."Come to bed baby. Everything will look better in the morning."My boss Dan, with his wife Elanore, stopped by my desk at quitting time. "We'd like to invite you to a party this evening," he said. "I've hired entertainment,. She was in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of wine when I entered the living room. I sat down and took a sip of beer."I hope this is OK." she said coming in from the kitchen, "It's quick and easy." It's great, thanks!" I replied picking up my plate of food, "And the beer's a nice touch, just like I would have had after fixing your tap while watching the footy." I said smiling at her."Well I'm on my second glass of wine, so after this I'll be anyone's! Or maybe just yours!" Sarah said.
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