However the Team had been just too thorough and all five were unconscious and I didn't want to waste the charge on people who couldn't feel it."We'll ...ispose of the trash," said Bill. "You go and see Julia."I wandered into the dayroom and up to Julia who reached out and took my hand when she saw me and smiled. No words, just the most beautiful smile that melted my heart and reminded me of better days.Laura, Jennifer and Debby had come in the room and just stopped, amazed at the beam on Julia's. But looked very tired too. She was nervous, she had never done anything like this. She stood and extended her hand. But just from all the text messages we had exchanged I actually wanted to give her a hug, :-), but instead shook her hand. We sat and chatted for quite a while. I speak my mind and sometimes it gets me in trouble. But I felt very at ease with talking to her. She told me things she normally wouldn't tell a "vanilla" person. I think people in our lifestyle (although some live it. I wouldn't need a guy around for any reason.Tammy called me on my cell phone that afternoon and told me she was ableto get an appointment for me with a special doctor. She said it wastomorrow morning and she would go with me. I felt so much better knowingTammy would accompany me to the doctor's office.I was nervous, felt like butterflies in my stomach as we drove to see thedoctor. She was a woman, Dr. Rice, and she examined me. She checkedeverything a normal doctor would do on a routine. He did find his life lonely but the solitude suited him. He wanted sex but couldn’t stand the idea of hiring a hooker. His only sexual pleasure was masturbation, a subject that his father had emphatically insisted was only for perverts and sick individuals. Mark used to loose himself in his own little world, feeling pensive but also slightly rebellious. As time went by he became entrenched in his private existence. He spent most evenings visiting many porn sites, feeling quite naughty knowing.
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