When, within three months of my column's introduction on "Freaky", someone had actually wired ten grand in exchange for the rights to "Interlude with ...he Vampire", I had been amazed. But they never even proposed that I get involved in the screenplay or anything. Six months later, the E mail from Jim suddenly ratcheted up the risk of losing my anonymity.Hi Whiff... No fucking shit... They want you to come to LA to consult on your vampire thing. Two grand a fucking day. I always knew you hid it. When the news had gotten around that the sluttiest girl would win a$10,000 prize, more girls had lined up than Bob had even dared to hope.The preliminaries had been going on for weeks now - a parade of wet t-shirt contests, amateur strip-offs, and competitions to see which girlcould wear the least clothing everywhere for a whole week.It had been wonderful. Their fraternity was soon the talk of the town.Bob had only heard one complaint. That weird Goth girl, Annaliese, hadstormed up to him one. Sister Mary Catherine, the Carmelite nun, instead." I can be there at eleven. North High, right?" That's right." I have court this afternoon, I can't be much later getting downtown than one." I can't imagine what this is about, so I don't figure it will amount to much." Ah, the voice of youth and inexperience!The morning seemed to pass with glacial slowness. Finally I stood up in class, showed the note to the teacher, who reacted badly to the interruption, and I walked down the empty hallways. The manager of my fan club is the one that responds to them." I tried reasoning with her."Well maybe next time you will hire someone who respects the view points of women." For a moment there I thought I had reached her through sympathy. Then she added, "As for now it looks like you get to experience what girls go through..." Tears rolled down my eyes. All I could do is sit there and cry, "Aw, isn't that cute. I see my new little daughter is starting to accept her new role." Lady, I'll never.
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